So, what’s it like to be married to a figure competitor? That’s a very complicated question that has a lot of answers. Obviously, Mere looks amazing. But, it’s not all hot wife and rainbows in figure competitor husband land.

First, this is a very, very expensive sport. Mere’s suit was $750. Personal training and coaching is over $1,000 so far. Weekly food bills are more than they used to be (admittedly, much of the increase rests on my shoulders – I have to eat a lot). Supplements get expensive fast, especially when two of you are taking them. Then, there is the cost of the show itself and the expenditures related to it – tanning, hotel, hair and makeup, etc. All in, we’ve probably spent $4,000+ on “fitness” and contest related stuff in the last six months. While I’m sure that it’s possible to do it for less (I have the attitude that if you’re going to do something, do it the best way that you can), you will probably have to make sacrifices in order to compete. But, some of the money that we’ve spent of fitness stuff has been offset by money that we aren’t spending on other things.

This brings me to a point that will likely kill many competition dreams and cause strain on relationships if only one person in the family lives the fitness lifestyle. During prep mode, Mere and I can’t really go on dates. Sure, she gets the occasional cheat meal, but we can’t just pop down to our favorite bar on a Tuesday night after an especially bad day at the office and have a beer to let off some steam. Sure, I could go by myself, or with friends, but I love spending time with my wife (even if it’s at the gym or chilling watching Netflix at home), so I don’t. Plus, I see it as part of my job to support her in her competition journey – to me, that means that I don’t drink when she can’t and that we generally have the same diet (obviously, I eat more – and I get some cheat meals (my coach’s orders!). If I didn’t live a fitness oriented lifestyle all of the restrictions on Mere’s diet would be really, really hard for me to deal with.

As far as spending time together is concerned, our options are pretty limited due to workout requirements and meal times. We see each other at the gym almost every day (sometimes she goes earlier than me or later than me because of work schedules), but we don’t always train together. If our routines for the day happen to overlap we’ll certainly workout together, and we’re always available to spot each other, but some days seeing each other at the gym is as quick as a peck on the cheek and waving to each other between sets. Other than gym time, we tend to spend time together watching Netflix and movies or playing board games or video games at home – going out is hard because of the temptations, and because we have to schedule everything based on who needs to eat what when (we both tend to eat six days a week). Plus, during prep mode, she has posing class during the middle of the day on Saturday, so even weekends have to be scheduled.

Jealousy could also be a really big issue if you’re prone to it. Mere looks great, and that draws a lot of attention, especially at the gym when she’s in full beast mode. She always has someone complementing her or trying to flirt with her. It doesn’t really bother me though – we’ve been married for almost nine years now and I think we have one of the most tender, loving, honest relationships any two people could have. However, if you are prone to jealousy, you need to go into this with your eyes wide open – if your husband or wife decides to compete, they will draw attention to themselves and that’s something that you need to be prepared for.

If you’ve made it this far, you probably think that I hate this sport and that I don’t want my wife to compete. But, nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, there are parts of the sport that could put stress on your relationship, if you let them, but I believe the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Because both of us live a fitness oriented lifestyle, we’ve really bonded over this experience. I know what she means when she complains about having to eat more chicken (seriously, bleh), and she knows the feeling of being exhausted but hitting the gym anyway because it’s back day. We’re both in better shape that we used to be (obviously) and this means that we will live longer, better lives with each other. Because of all of the training, we’ve got more energy when we’re not in the gym. Mealtime is a breeze – there’s no fighting over “what’s for dinner” in our household! Did I mention that Mere is crazy hot?

In all seriousness, if your husband or wife wants to compete, be prepared. You have to be their rock. You have to support them and be there to listen and encourage them when they are dog tired and crying in the gym because they’re on a low carb day four weeks out from their show questioning why the hell they ever got into this sport. And, if you love them, you will – gladly.

I’m writing this just under a week before Mere’s first show and I want to use this last part to give her some words of encouragement:

You are the strongest, most determined person that I’ve ever known. I’ve seen you put your head down and power through workouts long after most people would have quit. I’ve seen you turn away wine and drinks when we’ve been out celebrating friends’ birthdays. Your dedication and commitment are unending. I’m excited. I’m excited to see you walk the stage next Saturday and to watch you stand in the limelight. I’m excited that I got to share your journey with you and to support you. No matter the outcome, I am proud of you. Now, do what you do best – show up on game day, bring your beast face and kill it. Finally, I love you always.

-SL